Never a Dull Moment
by EffingFractals
Summary: "So there I was, spitting on my fish, trying desperately to keep it alive..." - Anna This is a humorous one shot featuring Anna's life and storytelling skills to her best friend Kristoff. Modern AU, ELSANNA


Kristoff chuckled to himself when he saw Anna enter the coffee shop, no one could miss her, she was always a whirlwind of movement. Her shadow followed not far behind, although at a more reasonable, grownup pace. His smile grew wider when he saw Elsa's look of embarrassment when Anna finally noticed him in the corner booth and called out a greeting across the room. The embarrassment was quickly replaced with her usual look of adoration, as Anna stopped just long enough to grab her hand and lead her towards his table.

"I'm so sorry we're late!" The bouncy red head exclaimed, as she dashed into the booth opposite of him, dragging her girlfriend in beside her. "You'll never guess how crazy my day was!"

Elsa nodded seriously at him and mouthed "crazy."

"Whoa guys, sounds like we have a story to tell here," Kristoff responded happily, he loved when Anna told him stories of the insane situations she got herself into. Each day of her life was seemingly more exciting and crazy than the last. He watched in amusement as Anna got into her 'story mode;' she sat straight up, cracked her knuckles, and screwed up her face trying to remember the exact events of the day.

"So there I was, spitting on my fish, trying desperately to keep it alive –" She halted at the soft touch of Elsa's hand on her elbow.

"Babe, don't you think you should maybe start at the beginning?"

"Oh yeah, of course," Anna smiled and seemed to get lost in the blonde's blue eyes. Until Kristoff cleared his throat, he loved how in love they were, but he didn't like feeling as if he were intruding on their private moments.

"Ok! Yes, let me start with this morning. First off, I woke up late. Like really late. Like I missed my 9am class because I didn't wake up until 11am."

He watched, as Elsa not so subtly nudged her girlfriend.

"Maybe you'd like to tell Kristoff here just why you overslept?" The blonde tried to hide her snicker behind her hand.

"Oh, yeah," She turned toward him again, "I was up all night trying to teach her evil cat to meow on command."

"Elphaba is not evil, she's just misunderstood," exclaimed the blonde. It was Kristoff's turn to snicker, this time at the pout that showed up on Elsa's face as she crossed her arms and huffed. A pout which quickly disappeared when Anna kissed her nose.

"Of course love, whatever you say. Anyways, the cat is incorrigible and refused to be taught anything. I lost all that sleep over nothing!

"So I was running late, but thank goodness I didn't miss my speech class! Because OF COURSE it was speech day today. But I was still late, so I grabbed my notes and dashed out the door. I made it all the way outside and I was actually sitting in my car when I noticed I didn't have my keys. But when I went back inside, I couldn't find them anywhere! So after like an hour of searching," she glanced at Elsa and amended her statement, "ok, maybe after ten minutes of searching, her evil cat stood up and I saw that she had been sitting on my keys the whole time!" Anna's voice had been rising steadily and she stood up for dramatic affect, pointing her finger accusingly at her girlfriend for the cat's sins.

Kristoff could do nothing but laugh at his best friend's antics, as her girlfriend sternly yanked her back down into a seat and told her to stop making such a scene. Unabashed, the redhead settled in to continue her story.

"That's not even the half of it Kristoff, I get to class, only to realize I brought the wrong notes! I'm sure that if professor Holloway didn't hate me before, he does now…" She sunk low into her seat this time, clearly in agony over this part of the day. "I came in half way through class and tried to avoid eye contact, but he noticed me of course and called me up to do my speech right away. I had to make up something on the spot, it was terrible," she turned toward Elsa, "I wish I had your brains, I'm sure you would have had a back up speech memorized and ready!"

"If she memorizes her speeches then why would she need a back up?" Kristoff asked amusedly, weathering the glare that was then sent his way. "But what about the fish?"

At this point Elsa had crossed her arms on the table and laid her head down on top of them.

"Maybe you should talk about my headache first?" Came her muffled voice.

"Oh yeah…" Anna looked truly regretful, "I only have two morning classes on Tuesdays, so after speech I went back to our apartment. And USUALLY Elsa has to work on Tuesdays, so NORMALLY the place is empty. So, you know, naturally when I heard someone inside the apartment I grabbed my bat and –"

"Anna! You didn't."

"What? Of course I didn't hit her! God you big oaf, I'm not that stupid."

"No, but you did try to sneak into the livingroom," Elsa interjected, "and you tripped over your own feet, and you launched the bat into the air while you fell, and that knocked over a lamp onto my head." She ended her story with a sidelong glance at her apologetic girlfriend. But Anna was already distracted from her own regret.

"You know, you ever really even liked that lamp, I kinda did us a favor…" Elsa narrowed her eyes and the redhead quickly backtracked. "Not that I wanted you to get hurt or anything! I love your head, it has your face on it, which is possibly the best part of your body! Except for maybe your fing-"

"LALALALALALA" Kristoff stuck his fingers in his ears, no longer enjoying Anna's ramblings.

Elsa's face matched her girlfriend's hair and she clapped a hand over Anna's mouth, "You know I love you, but please keep my fingers out of this."

Anna's eyes danced with glee, but she nodded to show she would indeed try to keep her girl happy.

"Anyways, after I gallantly patched up the damsel I distressed," Kristoff had to hide a smile at the blonde's ensuing eye roll. "I decided to take her out to lunch." He watched as Anna paused and looked around the coffee shop, "On second, lunch is definitely not a repeatable experience."

"Wait, hold up now, something happened that you are actually embarrassed about? I've gotta hear this!" He pleaded excitedly, but the normally feisty girl just hid her face in her girlfriend's neck instead.

Elsa stroked her girl's hair and grinned, "Maybe when the ptsd has worn off a bit." Anna nodded into her shoulder affirmatively, Kristoff couldn't quite see what happened next, but it ended with Elsa shoving the mischievous red head off of her and yelling for her to keep it in her pants. Kristoff felt his ears go red again and rolled his eyes.

" I don't know why you bother with this mess," he said teasingly, gesturing to the entirety of Anna.

"I don't know either," Anna waved him off dismissively, "But back to my story! After lunch, we went to Pet Smart, to get me a replacement fish, because Sven Jr. died."

"I still can't believe that you named a fish after my dog and then killed it."

The red head's eye widened and she stage whispered, "ix-nay on the ill-kay!"

"Hold on," continued Kristoff, ignoring his best friend's pleas, "why are you even getting another fish? Doesn't the fact that the first one died mean that you completely lost your bet with Els?"

"She, ahem, persuaded me to give her another chance." The blonde in question stepped in, "I told her the first time if she could keep a pet fish alive for a year, then I would get her a puppy."

Anna jumped in, "Yeah! But since Sven Jr.'s death wasn't my fault, she's gonna let me try again!"

"Considering I've already heard part of the end of this story, I'm guessing this whole second chance thing doesn't end very well."

Elsa nodded in confirmation of Kristoff's conclusion, and Anna looked offended again.

"But this time wasn't my fault either! We were in her car talking about names, she wanted to name him something ridiculous like Doomed or Hopeless," she shot a glare at her snickering partner. "But I was thinking more along the lines of Olaf or Marshmallow… Anyways, while we were conversing I failed to notice that a giant daddy longlegs had somehow made its way onto my person and crawled up to my shoulder.

"Of course, I handled the spider very calmly, and maturely, and I only screamed a little bit while I flicked it on my shoulder."

Elsa rolled her eyes and interjected, "Translation: she screamed her head off and flailing around like she was dying. One of her arms must have caught on the bag and threw it up against the windshield. Water was everywhere."

"I was just praying there weren't any fish guts!"

"Oh please, you were too concerned about the spider, you completely forgot about Little Doomed!"

"I was also afraid you were gonna wreck the car!"

"Only because you threw water at the windshield and I was panicking because I didn't know what you were panicking about!"

Kristoff was beginning to get whiplash looking back and forth between the two, "okay guys, am I going to need to separate you?"

Anna looked absolutely horrified at the notion and latched onto Elsa's arm fiercely, "Don't you dare even try."

The annoyance recalled from earlier that day melted from the blonde's face as she looked down lovingly at her girl, "I don't think he was being serious, love." She looked back up at Kristoff, "Anyways, I pulled over the car, because I honestly had no idea what was happening and figured pulling over was the safest option for everyone."

"As soon as I figured out that the spider was gone, I remembered that I had thrown the fish in my, um, mild freak out. I dashed back into the car and found it flopping on the floor. I didn't know what to do! How long can a fish even last outside of water? Then Elsa told me to spit on it."

Kristoff looked at the blonde, who was trying to keep a straight face, "you told her to what now?"

"Spit on it… the fish need water and Anna was too busy freaking out to really think about what I'd said…" The blonde man looked at his counterpart incredulously for a moment, then burst out laughing and gave her a high five.

"Yes, so there I was, spitting on my fish, because my girlfriend is as evil as her cat. Instead of being useful, she's sitting on the curb _laughing _at me for following directions!"

The mischievous blonde put her head down on the table again, this time her shoulders were shaking in mirth at the memory.

"We were less than a block my our apartment, and since she wasn't in any state to drive, I ran the rest of the way home. I made it into the apartment and almost to the kitchen when I went down head over heels.

"I had been really concentrating on keeping my fish alive, that I forgot abut the mess I'd made earlier this morning, I tripped on the bat and the fish flew through the air! Only to land at Elphaba's feet. I yelled 'NO' as loudly as I could, but that witch of a cat just looked at me smugly before it bent down and clamped its jaws around Olaf. I could only watch in horror as that black cat daintily picked up my flopping fish and cracked its spine.

My fish flopped no more."

Anna ended her story with her usual dramatic flair, huffing back into her seat with a look of despair. Elsa placed an arm around her shoulders consolingly and kissed her cheek, "It's ok, I'll bring home a new fish for you tomorrow and I'll put it in the tank and everything. If you make sure to never leave the lid open again, then my kitty won't be bale to eat it like she did the last two." Anna didn't seem very consoled at this prospect, so she added, "and this time I'll help you keep it alive for a whole year so I can buy you a puppy."

Anna looked up at her girlfriend, eyes shining, "You'll really buy me a puppy?"

"Of course I will," She sealed the promise with a kiss to the redhead's freckled nose.

Kristoff looked between the two for a moment, he loved their weekly coffee time, he cared about the two of them immensely, and he could only hope that one day he could find someone as perfect for him as they were for each other. He smiled and lifted up his coffee to toast them, "It's never a dull moment with you two, is it?


End file.
